It's not about the audition!

Short time ago I told you that I sent in my audition to the Parelli Centre and that I am afraid not to pass my Level 1. Not even one week is over but I learned a lot. First I thought "Yes, I made it." Then I thought "OMG you failed." Now I think: "Never mind if I passed or not, I got stronger the last days and made good progress." That's it. Not which mark I get or who is telling anything about me. It's about friendship and relationship! Yeah, I know, these are quotations. But now I got it! First I tried to take a new audition-video to prove anybody that I can make it better. These tries end up in frustration because everytime anything happened what made the new video un-perfect again. After all I decided not longer to think about and just going on with the game. And suddenly came the progress :o)
The second pro was the condition to take a video. But I am always nervous if somebody is watching me and it's the same with a camera. Some time ago I asked a friend to take pictures of us during the play-time and what happened? Nothing worked. I lost the naturalness because I thought on "How is this looking?"
Now I take a video nearly every day. That's not because I love to see me on videos. It's for the progress, for my diary and to see my (bad) body language. If nobody would have asked me to take a video to pass Level 1, I would never have noticed that I ask Baga something to do but my body says "you don't need to do this" "I am unsure" "I'm in fear" and very soon I would get frustrated because nothing works like it is supposed to do.
With my new attitude things are getting easier. For me and hopefully for Baga. You can see how we did the figure-8 yesterday. The day as I took the audition we did the figure-8 only for the second time. No wonder that it looks a bit inharmonic.
These days I go on playing around the trailer. Soon we will go on a journey and I plan to make the trailer loading as easy as possible for Baga. If everything goes well I can use the trailer during the weekend to load Baga on it - just for unloading her again. Yesterday I placed two pylons beside the trailer. Maybe 1,5 meters away. Then we played the squeeze game and the yoyo-game. It went well but I could feel a big opposition reflex of Baga. She really hates the trailer and don't want to be near it! That's why I sit down on the wheel case as often as possible to feed her or only giving her positive feelings.